| the wee small hours of the morning when the Computer Center is still closed. I keep the lights off and cower behind the desk. They peek through the window, pressing their greasy noses to the glass. They wonder why the lights are out and the door is locked. Half an hour's respite from the marching phalanx of patrons with just one thing on their minds... Sweet Lady Internet. Soon the doors will open and the hateful flourecent lights will snap on and I will be back in Hell. But now, it is dark and quiet and it is just me.
Drat, the doors are open and they started flooding in. I expect that your average CC patron is starved for a little time on the net because we were closed for Thanksgiving. Yup, gotta obsessively check that Yahoo account, even though it's just penis enlarging spam.
Ewww, I hate it when C.C. patrons "Hook Up" because I have to sit and listen to them talk to each other in that faux (or not so faux) salacious tone best reserved for the dive bar down the road.
Case in point:
It's 9:30 am and Aim Karnett and George Robertson stand in front of my desk, giggling and grinding on each other. George gives his first name and Aim pipes up "Micheals" and then drawls, "Cuz yer hott!"
They then insist on computers right next to each other and proceed to IM pornographic chit chat. I say, that is just not acceptable behavior this early in the morning, IN A PUBLIC LIBRARY!I'm grossing out on them fucking in a garbage car outside in the parking lot. Sorry, I'm feeling a bit rough, ya see, I was tricked into drinking 6 shots of alcohol yesterday night. I was served some vile concoction known as the "Cheer Up Charlies". A shot of vodka, a shot of bailey's and a shot of kaluha. Normally I drink beer, but the barman had some extra that he gave to me and it tasted like a punchy milk shake. So I got one, then I got another and then I went to see "Gothika" all tanked up on six shots of booze. bleah....
All I remember is Downey Jr. chewing the scenery like a goat on meth. I think I conked out for some of it. |
