| Day of the dumbass. So, The library wants to make my life easier by assigning "Volunteer Assistants" to help me out in the Computer Center. They are invariably creepy men. One guy shows up, marches right up into my personal space and doesn't budge. Yeah, yeah, I've got a huge bubble, but still, this dude was right up on my shit and I felt like biting his face. I settled for shoving a clipboard into his gut and digging it in until he backed off (one of my favorite tricks). Then, he stands directly behind me, looking at my computer screen while I scramble to close down my rant infested browsers. One foot behind me, looking at my stuff. I was about this far (holds up thumb and forefinger held very close together) from whipping around and crotch punching the jerk. Anyway, I get to work and there's this wonk with a "Microsoft Certified" polo shirt on lurking around outside the CC. He's cornered a Children's librarian and is asking all kinds of self important questions. I walk up behind them as she's explaining that she doesn't have the key, no she can't open the center for him, already I don't like this guy. Nobody hassles a Children's librarian but children, asshole. So, I actually think this guy has some legitimate reason to be in the center a half hour before we open. Come to find out, he's just a new volunteer with major delusions of grandeur. Immediately, the guy starts fucking with the computers and asking dumb questions about Novell. My mornings are for sitting quietly in darkened rooms, drinking coffee and doing the post bender math (you know, 3 beers at home, 2 shots at the club, a few more beers opened, partially consumed then abandoned, the usual stuff.) My mornings are not reserved for training the primates to do the stupid job. |
